Refrain From Controversey

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When we stay out of arguments and the Karpman drama triangle we save ourselves a lot of time and energy.

We can remain positive and focused. We can grow and develop.

We often are taught to interfere in other people’s lives, but most of the time we’re being more harmful when we intrude where we’re not asked to butt into the situation.

Are we really helping them? At times we may think we’re helping them, but at the same time the may not be ready to change. They may be resistant to change and may take things the wrong way.

We usually get angry, upset, and butt into people’s situations and problems. We have to remember other people’s problems aren’t are problems. Other people’s relationships are not our relationship.

We aren’t technically living in their shoes. We’re not in the same experience. We don’t have to live with the consequences of their choices. They do. When you’re getting involved in their problems without being asked you’re setting them up for failure. They don’t learn to stand up for themselves and set boundaries.

You become the target of blame. It then becomes your fault because their relationship didn’t work out, because they took your advice. Perhaps their car broke down because you weren’t expert and told them to do something.

Another way we harm them is believing we need to save them, fix them, and change them. We enable them and stop them from taking responsibility for their actions.

There is always a natural consequence to choices. They also learn to be a victim, needy, and dependent.

They don’t know how to problem solve or maneuver through obstacles. This is something they have to learn for themselves.

If you’re paying for their drug habit, alcohol, and they won’t get a job, you’re enabling them from facing their addictions and getting a job.

You can be the example, supportive, and encourage others, but thy do need to know how to tie their own shoes. If you’re making choices for them, they’re not being their authentic self, learning to trust themselves, or learning how to use their inner compass.

The same thing with other people’s relationships. They need to learn to work together as a team, solve their problems, learn to trust one another, and how to communicate. You can’t do this for them.

It doesn’t matter how you feel, how angry you are, or how much you don’t like someone. They have a reason they’re together, specific lesson they’re learning for their emotional, mental, and spiritual growth.

If you’re causing drama, you’re going to reap drama right back in your court.